


Bringing the Hotheads Together

by Singhakash101



Category: One Piece
Genre: Boys Kissing, Kissing, M/M, Matchmaking, One Piece Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singhakash101/pseuds/Singhakash101
Summary: Sanji and Zoro are always in each others' faces, rearing for a fight. Nami decides that something must be done so that the constant fighting and destruction is halted. Her plan involves matchmaking.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro & Vinsmoke Sanji, Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

You dumb mosshead!” Sanji’s battlecry could be heard throughout the Going Merry as he brought his foot down upon Zoro, who dodged deftly to the side and barely missed his skull being caved in. Sanji’s foot crashed into the deck with a resonating crack and a shower of splinters. Zoro distanced himself from Sanji, giving himself space to unsheathe a single sword. He gripped it with both hands and readied himself in a defensive stance. A low grunt of annoyance escaped through gritted teeth. “Fucking curlybrow dumbass.”  
And so, Sanji and Zoro fought. As they had many times before and would many times after this. What they fought over, no one really knew lest of all themselves. It was certainly something petty and not worth fighting over whatever it may have been. They felt drawn to conflict. Near every day there would be a scuffle or shouting match of some sort or another. This was a regular occurrence in their life and the lives’ of the Straw Hat Pirates. It was part of the background noise by this point, not worth mentioning or thinking about.  
The two pirates collided. Sanji’s footwork was relentless; Zoro’s swordwork precise, using the flat back of the blade to fend of the cook’s and to press forward. They were inches apart, exhaling the hot air of effort into each other’s faces, permanent fighting sneers painting their expressions. Hell-bent on beating each other, neither one could make any ground. This was an affair of giving and taking, as it always was. They were equals here. They could dance this dance all day.  
The rest of the crew largely went about their day. Chopper looked up from rereading a dense medical tome and just let out a sigh, a sigh he was well acquainted with. “Guys-,” Chopper said, a pleading start to trying and convincing the two hotheads to see reason and stop fighting before a broken plank from the ships deck snapped from the duel and shot over his head, forcing him to duck.  
Robin kept to herself, drowning everything out, and poured all her thoughts into the book that had so recently captured her attention. The fight didn’t concern her and she kept to herself.  
Ussop followed after the fighters, his pleas for them to stop fighting falling on deaf ears. He was a ball of anxiety and exasperation, fixing the damage to the ship as it occurred. But, he couldn’t keep up with them. As soon as he had fixed a new crater in the deck or whatever else had been damaged, Sanji and Zoro had moved on to breaking something else.  
Luffy wasn’t even on the deck. He had seen his chance once the two had started fighting. With Sanji occupied, the kitchen was unguarded! He had made his way there and was devouring the ship’s reserve of food at a ridiculous rate. Eventually he found his way into a comfortable food coma.  
The fight went on with no progress for some time. It had started as the sun set, the world was being encroached on by full night by this point. Zoro and Sanji circled each other, panting with their bodies heaving from exertion but neither willing to give up. Zoro brought his sword up once again and charged. Sanji stepped to the side, just in time. In that moment Sanji saw an opening. His foot shot out and struck Zoro in the elbow. The blow struck true, surprising Zoro and sending the blade flying out of Zoro’s grasp. A light whistle in the air from the steel, the sword found a home in the outer wall of the Going Merry cabin’s wall, sliding into the wall a shocking amount, like a knife through warm butter. Right below the quivering sword sat Ussop who had just patched up some of the deck. Ussop couldn’t mutter a word. He realized just how close he had been to death then and fainted. Chopper ran to his side to help.  
One sword down, Zoro merely pulled out another. As he did so, a roar came rumbling out from the cabin, near where his other sword had pierced. A roar much more fierce than either Sanji or Zoro could ever muster. Nami.  
Nami came barreling out of the ship’s cabin. Her face redder than her hair, her eye’s accusatory and searching. She saw Zoro and Sanji readying for another bout. Without a word, she strode over to those two, grasping the back of their heads, and knocking them together as hard as she could. They collapsed onto the deck from the force of their heads coming together and they stayed down, heads swirling and exhaustion keeping them down.  
Nami’s breath came out in heaving, angry, forceful bursts. She was rarely so angry; she was done. Looking down upon the collapsed bodies left in her wake she said, “I was working on a map of the last island we made port out. Now I have to redo my work. I am so done. I’m not doing this again.” There was scorn in her tone and exhaustion from being the only one who ever has broken those two up.  
She walked away before looking back at the two of them, still crumpled. “Zoro, you owe me an additional five hundred thousand berries atop what already owe me because of this incident,” she said. Zoro tried to say something but only an incoherent grumble came out. Nami continued speaking, “Sanji, dinner should be prepared soon. Best get to it.” Sanji craned his neck to look up at her, obedience in his eyes. “Dinner will be ready soon,” Sanji said. With her piece said, Nami turned and continued inside, shutting the door behind her.  
Zoro sat up slightly, bones creaking, and leaned his body up against the ship. He had no energy left and, despite thoughts of his ever growing debt, sleep soon took over him. Sanji stood with a painful crack of his back. After he straightened his spine, he tried to put his mop of hair back in order. Nami’s words in the forefront of his mind, Sanji made his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. In no way did he expect Luffy to be there on the kitchen floor, contentedly snoring, and every crumb of food in the ship gone.  
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Just a few hours later, the ship was quiet other than the consistent sound of snoring. The slight rocking of the ship lulled everyone into a comfortable slumber. However, not every Straw Hat was asleep.   
Nami stealthily crept along, quietly waking up a few members of the crew and having them follow her out onto the deck.  
Usopp, Chopper, and Robin followed her and went outside reluctantly and confused. The moon and stars illuminated the deck and Nami as she addressed those she had woken up. “I am so tired of having to deal with those two fighting,” she started. Everyone knew what two she spoke of. “So, I propose a solution. We know that they love to fight each other but certainly don’t want to truly harm or kill one another. I think they’re in love!” Nami received a few snorts at that, the crew barely understanding what they were hearing. They thought this must’ve been some sort of strange dream.  
Usopp, groggily rubbing his eyes, said “What!? That’s ridiculous. Even I couldn’t come up with something like that.” Robin, seeming surprisingly awake and sharp, remained quiet and observed the proceedings. Chopper said, “I don’t know much about romance, though I don’t know if I can see them as being in love. Must be a strange human thing I don’t quite understand. My question is: why are you telling us this theory, Nami?”  
“Because,” Nami answered, “those fools will never come to this realization themselves. I don’t think they could ever admit it without a little prodding.” She said that last part with a sparkle in her eyes. “That’s where we come in. We’ll play matchmaker. By the time we’re done with them, they won’t have any time for fighting one another.” The rest of the crew looked at her a little quizzically and dubiously. “Think about it,” Nami said. “Without the constant everyday fights, life will be so much more peaceful. We’ll be able to get so much more done. Usopp, you won’t have to waste time fixing up this ship after them anymore. Chopper, you wouldn’t have to worry about healing them after every stupid fight.” With the explanation of her intentions, the very noticeable absence of Zoro and Sanji made sense as well as their conspicuously missing and bad-at-keeping secrets captain. Nami intently glanced from each Straw Hat before her. She was not going to take no for an answer.  
Robin looked at Nami and gave a slight shrug. “Well, I’m in,” Robin said. The other two didn’t see much use in resisting the idea after that and soon relented. Nami cracked her knuckles and said, “Now, it’s time to plan.” The four did not get much sleep that night, brainstorming multitudes of ways in which to force Sanji and Zoro together in a way that did not involve fighting.  
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The matchmaking plans went into effect immediately. From that day forward, the crew did all they could to push Zoro and Sanji together in romantic situations. From having dinner at a nice restaurant, distracting Luffy, and the rest of the crew dispersing and disappearing to leave the two together to hiring an actor to portray a villain and capture the two, forcing them together in a small confined space for an extended period of time. Getting them drunk alone, leaving cute little love letters from a ‘secret suitor’ (Sanji was convinced his was from Nami; Zoro did not even read his letter), and so son. But, nothing the crew did seemed to work. Even after weeks of attempts. Fights between Sanji and Zoro still happened on the regular and they did not seem to be getting closer. Disappointment crept up behind Nami and the other three romantic conspirators grew tired and disillusioned with this foolhardy idea of Zoro and Sanji coming together because of their efforts. So, one last ditch effort had to be made.  
Nami once again brought Usopp, Chopper, and Robin out onto the deck in the middle of the night. They were ready to stop trying altogether but Nami wasn’t quite ready to give up. She wanted to do something bigger and more romantic for Sanji and Zoro than ever before. Something hugely elaborate, require perfect timing and every single one of them to be on que. Nami went on explaining this last plan, the plan that had to work. She had various diagrams ready and her speech lasted some hours. Robin paid attention out of curiosity but not much more and both Chopper and Usopp had nearly fallen asleep by the time Nami was coming to the end of her plan.  
Out of the darkness, a recognizably high-pitched voice spoke up. “What’s going on?,” asked Luffy. The question startled Usopp and Chopper awake, made Robin give a slight bemused smile, and caused Nami’s shoulders to slump while letting out a sigh.  
“Nothing,” said Nami. It was a weak lie, spoken without conviction. Usopp and Chopper remained quiet. “That’s a lie. Tell me what’s going on,” Luffy was more insistent as he said this. Robin was the one who spoke up. “The swordsman and the cook are in love. They just don’t realize it yet; we only hoped to help with that part,” said Robin.  
Hearing that, Luffy’s eyes brightened and that characteristically massive smile of his spread across and engulfed his face, his gleaming teeth almost brighter than the moon itself. He had never considered this before. Though, Luffy does not consider much of anything as a general fact of his being and certainly not romance. Somehow, the pairing made perfect sense to him, though he would not be able to communicate why. Sanji and Zoro. Zoro and Sanji. The realization Luffy had wasn’t a growing or creeping one but a realization that overtakes and shifts one’s understanding of a person, people, and their relationships. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?!”, Luffy said.  
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Sanji and Zoro slept in their hammocks, oblivious to all the discussion about them. Luffy shot into the room and shouted at the very top of his lungs: “WAKE UP!” And they did, grumbling as they did so, angry and confused. Both shot glares at the captain. “What the hell is it?”, they both asked in unison. Luffy’s smile remained on his face as he giddily explained, “You two are in love! In love!”  
“In love with who?”, Sanji shot at Luffy.  
“With each other!”, Luffy exclaimed.  
Looks of pure disgust encompassed both Zoro and Sanji’s face at hearing that. Repulsion and incredulity was all they felt. “No, we’re not!”, the two of them said as they raced to confront the accusation.  
“Yes, you are,” said Luffy. And with that, his arms grew longer at an inconceivable speed. His arms shot out and each one picked and grasped one of the men, his left with a tight grip on the swordsman and his right arm grabbing the cook. He then took them both and crashed them together and held them tight against each other, bodies and faces smushed into one another. Sanji and Zoro were held so tightly and so close that they could barely breathe or speak. “Now kiss!”, said Luffy.  
Following in after Luffy to gawk at the spectacle, was Nami, Chopper, Usopp, and Robin. They saw their captain holding the two grumbling, squirming men as tightly together as was possible. “Kiss,” the four of them said. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”, they repeated.  
Zoro and Sanji shifted their gazes to their captain and the crowd as much as they could and mouthed one of the few words that would escape their tightly enmeshed bodies, “NO!”  
This back and forth went on for a few minutes before Luffy had to loosen his grip slightly and bring them a couple inches back so they could breathe. Both the cook and swordsman were red, from a multitude of reasons. As the two of them huffed for air, Luffy simply stared. His voice went softer but still firm, “I’m your captain. Now kiss."


	2. Bringing the Hotheads Together Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hotheads come together

And, so there they were. Limbs entangled, breathing into each other's faces, staring into each other's eyes. Luffy's arms felt like steel winding its way around them. The deep orbs that were Sanji's ocean blue eyes stared into Zoro's hard dark eyes. They found nothing comfortable in the swordsman's eyes.

Zoro had gone still just as Sanji continued to squirm and fight, his whole body wriggling relentlessly and fruitlessly against Luffy's strength. A small smirk formed across Zoro's face as the chants to kiss continued. He certainly knew one thing that would shock Sanji, maybe even scare him a bit. A kiss. Zoro had never eyed Sanji's lips before but they seemed quite kissable in the moment, these slender wavering, delicate looking things.

Sanji recognized the look in Zoro's eyes. It was the look when he was gonna be particularly annoying. He had no idea what Zoro could be planning. That is, until Zoro just winked at him and licked his lips the way he did for whatever food Sanji provided.

In that split second of realization of what was to come, Sanji wanted to scream. To scream his most furious battle-cry. To try and bite that look of Zoro's that got under his skin so often. To fucking kill Luffy for the whole mess in the first place.

All those disparate thoughts faded away as Zoro nudged his head towards Sanji's and his strong lips made with Sanji's trembling, uncertain lips. The kiss was broad and slow at first, overwhelming but not aggressive. Despite all his intentions, Sanji found the swordsman's lips comforting, these strong pillows to get lost in. He found himself kissing back soon enough. Returning that moss-headed fool's kiss ten fold. Sanji kissed urgently and desperately. He was usually so practiced about how he kissed but this was different. There was something primal here, like Sanji wanted to rip the flesh of Zoro's face, break through his skull, and make contact with what was inside.

Zoro was taken aback by how quickly the cook returned his affection. And just how aggressive he was. He always saw Sanii as this perpetually horny but somehow chaste lover but this kiss was more of a fight than most the swordman has been in. It was a fight for control, for dominance. The thought of returning Sanji's energy or trying to top it crossed Zoro's mind but he was content to go at the cook's hungry rhythm.

The two were so captured by one another's mouth and tongue that they didn't notice Luffy loosen and release his iron grip. The chants had gone silent while the crew watched the two make out, slack jawed and enraptured with what they were seeing.

Chopper got the biggest blush across his face as he witnessed the kiss. He quietly made his way out of the room, the clack of his hooves on wood going silent as he got far away from the display.

Robin watched with a detached amusement. She had forseen this event happening when she first met them. Nobody fought like that if they weren't going to fuck eventually, she thought to herself. Robin would follow shortly after Chopper, trying to give the two as much privacy as possible.

Nami always thought Sanji was pretty cute. He's so much cuter when he's kissing Zoro though, she thought. Images of them together flashed through her mind with such realism that she had to rush to her room and deal with an overwhelming 'emergency'.

Usopp just stared. He thought the sight before him was absolutely beautiful. True romance blooming aboard the cramped interiors of the Going Merry. It made him want to experience a kiss one day. He almost swooned on behalf of them but collected himself and left with a smile.

Zoro and Sanji in the throes of making out didn't notice the crew's reactions or then leaving. All of their body's functions went to their mouth as they intertwined themselves together and stared into each other's eyes with something animalistic. They were barely aware of anything, the mere adrenaline of the kissing taking over everything. It was just like a fight when all of one's focus went into defeating the enemy.

They were so distracted with exploring each other's mouths that they didn't notice their Captain plop down onto the floor with his characteristic grin. Luffy was excited and elated at what he was seeing. His fingers tapped the deck as he vibrated with a deep positive energy at seeing the result of bringing the two together.

Minutes passed and Zoro and Sanji were still kissing enthusiastically. There came a point when Sanji ran out of breath and pulled his mouth back a moment for air. And, in that moment, Zoro purposefully collapsed on the floor like a sack of potatoes, dragging Sanji on top of him. Sanji lay on Zoro's broad chest and panted a bit. Zoro gave him an easy smile in return. And, they simply laid there a moment.

The silence of the calm moment was broken by Luffy erupting into applause. "Very good!," he said as he beamed at them.

The sound of the applause sent Sanji careening into Zoro's open arms. As soon as he realized it was the captain, Sanji's whole face turned tomato red. "GET OUT NOW!," Sanji belted at Luffy.

Zoro looked completely at home on the floor, Sanji in his arms. He didn't much mind the captain watching but still shooed him out with a slight wave of his hand.

Luffy looked crestfallen at being told to leave. A sullen look took over him but he left, looking somewhat dejected.

Once the captain exited, Sanji looked at Zoro. "Now, where were we?," he asked.

Zoro lounged, looking every bit like some smug sun-bathing cat. "You tell me, cook. Turn me into a meal," he said, awaiting what would come.

Biting his lip, Sanji stood his lithe frame over the swordsman's on the floor. "Unbuckle me," Sanji quietly commanded, his hands on his belt and his fingers pointing.

And, so, a long night on the Going Merry commenced. One long night of many to come. The fighting between them stopped but Nami never got the quiet she wanted. They could be heard at all hours at their new ritual.


End file.
